“Between man and God there are two paths: The path of fate and the path of destiny. Those who will give distance to their destiny shall fall into the path of fate. When you walk on the path of fate, you may feel very happy and be an egomaniac, but when the fatal moment comes - you will be lost again. When you walk on the path of destiny, it doesn’t matter what distance you cover. When the fatal blow of death comes, you shall be liberated. That is the difference.”
-Yogi Bhajan from Success and the Spirit: An Aquarian Path to Abundance
I became a student of kundalini yoga a little over two years ago this spring and it has been my saving grace and a powerful teacher and guide. I still consider myself very much a novice and I continue to marvel at the magic of it all.
I love that the path, teachings and focus of kundalini yoga is a spiritual one and the body follows the heart as the mind surrenders and a heart-mind connection is created. I love how simple it can be yet deeply challenging, how powerful it always is and how quickly it shifts the energy. I love the kriyas with the combination of very specific, focused and continuous breathing patterns, mudras, chanting and meditation.
My discipline and commitment has naturally waxed and waned and I find it easier to keep up a practice or discipline in a class/group setting than privately at home for most things in life and especially yoga; yet surprisingly I was guided to commit to a solo (global/online was the 'community/classroom') 40 day sadhana within the first 6 months of beginning my practice. The energy of that sadhana was called "Releasing Fear and Becoming a Conscious Leader" and Aadays Tisai Aadays was our mantra and kriya. I knew fear was holding me back from becoming a conscious leader in my life but little did I really know how profoundly so. Through a series of very synchronistic connections after a yoga class I requested my spiritual name through the 3HO.org website. Nirinjan Kaur, Yogi Bhajan's Chief of Staff, was trained personally by him for over thirty years in his method of determining names. It is based on one's birth date, numerology, and meditation with the Siri Guru Granth Sahib sacred text. Before his death in 2004, Yogi Bhajan gave his blessings to Nirinjan to continue his work of giving names to those who request them. Expecting it to take up to 2 weeks to arrive, quite auspiciously on the 3rd day of that sadhana I received my spiritual name: "Nirbhao" (pronounced "near-bo"). I learned that Nirbhao means "fearless" and in this tradition one's spiritual name is symbolic of your spiritual or soul identity. It's a roadmap to one's destiny. It's a rebirth in consciousness. I cried all day the day I received my spiritual name because I'd never felt so seen and understood on such a deep, soul and spiritual level as I did through the energy of that name and the destiny it carries. Everything in my life suddenly made sense to me. No wonder I grew up in an angry home that fostered judgment and fear rather than love. No wonder I have been paralyzed in life by my fears and especially by the fear of failure and of being seen, judged harshly and rejected for who I am. Overcoming fear is not just what I'm here to do because I'm a human being, it's my personal destiny! Not only did I feel the challenge of overcoming my intense and paralyzing fears was validated and understood but for the very first time I was able to look back at my life and recognize when and how many times I had already been courageous and fearless in the face of my fears. I'd already survived a lot and I wasn't a total failure after all. I've been living my destiny successfully all along. Being able to appreciate the glass half-full instead of half-empty and see the courage and strength in myself from a place of love from within me for myself was an incredible, healing and humbling moment and gift. I've done a lot of deep, personal healing work and been held in the arms of the Divine more than once. This moment surpassed them all because I was able to see myself through my own eyes of Love, not just through the eyes of others or the eyes of the Divine. In that moment fear no longer held me hostage. I felt no separation from Love. I could be the dark and the light and it was enough.
No matter what obstacles came up in my everyday life I didn't miss a beat or a day for the next 40 days. That 40 day sadhana then morphed into 90 days and it really changed my life profoundly, forever. Since then, I've been patiently waiting for the next kundalini yoga sadhana to be revealed. I tried a few on here and there but they didn't stick. I've learned I don't go looking for a sadhana just like I don't go looking for my destiny - I trust and know the sadhana will find me as long as I keep my heart open to it just like I trust my destiny will. And so it did, quite magically, and I couldn't be more excited and elated!
It's been a particularly challenging spring and start to the summer for me with a shoulder injury (for no apparent reason), getting very sick for an extended time from a toxic overexposure to mold (something I am highly allergic to), and other areas of stress in life needing all my focus, energy and attention. My yoga became more internal than ever while I allowed my physical body to rest, regenerate and heal as much as possible. Last night I was able to attend my regular weekly/Monday kundalini yoga class for the first time in 3 months. Even as I was acutely aware of how my body had contracted and lost some of its flexibility over those 3 months it was like coming home again! I was amazed and in awe of how quickly my body remembered the warm-ups and responded to the mudras and movements, especially when I used my breath to breathe into the discomfort or restrictions to release the tension and let go. It felt almost effortless. How could that be?!! It's supposed to be so much harder when we've been away from it for an extended time! My shoulder was strong and flexible with an easy, graceful and fluid range of motion once more (thanks to the healing magic of acupuncture tacks and a few other non-traditional healing approaches) even though it let me know it still has a catch or two left to clear. All in good time. I've learned to bless and honor the limitations of my body as much as I celebrate its ability to push and move past obstacles. The kriya we did worked with the navel, the hips and shoulders and I felt the pulse and wave of the energy at my navel at the end of that kriya in the relaxation phase more powerfully than I remember feeling in a really long time. What a surprise and joy all of this was for me!
I am in awe of the body's ability to heal itself and move beyond its limitations when we honor the limitations without judgment, anxiety and fear and give it the time, nourishment, care, attention and love it needs to heal. What an incredible messenger our bodies are! I am in awe of how the mind can be re-trained with practice and discipline. I am in awe of how our inner Spirit and Divine Self and Source guides us to whatever is our destiny in our highest and most divine timing when we surrender and trust the flow and choose to be a co-creator with Source rather than trying to force our way through life with agendas that are egocentric and fear-based.
Ever since I read this story a few weeks ago about the 2nd Sutra meditation Jaap Sahib http://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/5-sutras-aquarian-age/2nd-sutra-there-way-through-every-block/2nd-sutra-mantra I've felt a strong draw to make this meditation my next 40 day (or longer) sadhana. So much so that I've kept it open in a browser on my computer since then as a reminder...yet not so much so that I felt the call to really "begin". Until last night! Ahhh! The magic of synchronicity and divine timing! Much to my surprise and delight we ended our class with this meditation and now I know it's time and I'm ready! I plan to keep it simple and start with 5 minutes once a day and go and grow from there as my body and spirit guides me. This 2nd sutra meditation is said to be one that removes fear and obstacles and brings us closer to our destiny. I Am Nirbhao Kaur ~ "fearless princess/lioness of God". I understand that the fear is mine and I am my only obstacle and so I am ready to begin and to embrace this sutra mantra for the next 40 days. I am ready to continue on the path to further embrace my destiny.
I am so grateful to Sat Inder Kaur Khalsa for being my most beloved teacher and for being my Divine messenger to bring my next sadhana to me so auspiciously. I so appreciate her ever constant heart and spirit, love and guidance. _/|\_
By the way...I'm just going to put this out there...If this meditation calls to You and Your divine timing is Now, please feel free to join me on this 40 day sadhana journey to move through obstacles and embrace your destiny! Whether near or far we can connect here, in a google circle, and in the ethers! It's so much fun to share the journey together! We can inspire each other to keep up!
Wahe Guru! Sat Nam! Nirbhao Kaur
#kundaliniyoga #destiny #heart #fearlessness #love #yoga #mudras #meditation #mantras
No comments:
Post a Comment